i am grounded i am humbled i am one with everything

i needed a real boost today. i'm feeling a little down to be honest, and i don't know if i can make it through this tough time. my friend is going through a depression, and i'm really worried about her. it makes me feel overwhelmed in a sense that i'm doing the best i can, and she's refusing help from anyone else.

i'm trying to make myself feel happy so that i don't have to go back in that downward spiral. i tried writing on myself, i tried my other alternatives, but nothing seems to work. maybe i'm destined for another relapse.

i hate to sound all emo, but this is how i feel right now. my friend hurting herself is hurting all her friends who want to help her. it's upsetting, how tempting the devil can be. just think of it; relieve your problems and emotions (temporarily) by just snatching the blade next to you and see that red blood drip down your arm. how nice would it be to be happy for once? just think of yourself for once and not have anyone interfere with your actions.

i'm not in the right frame of mind tonight. maybe some sleep will make it better. make the bad thoughts go away.