mind readers

i wonder how people will view me if they spent a day in my head. i mean, would they think that i'm cynical? a horrible person? a good person?

now comes the question: how do you think?

i think in many different ways depending on the situation. sometimes i think logically, sometimes i think more daringly, and other times, i'm either clueless or blinded. my thinking patterns are more of an exotic nature than most i would think. and because i have been through a lot in my life, there's no doubt that when you finally leave my mind for the day, you'll pass out.

i must be very exhausted. i keep talking about sleep. my mind sometimes doesn't think at all. it just says that it's out to lunch and i end up zoning out.

i wonder how my mind actually works when i'm playing my instrument. it must be a mega overload since i have to think about 10 things at once. tempo, dynamics, technique, oh my. it's a lot to handle. and ontop of that, you're thinking about other things too; is you're homework done? did you even have homework? how is your friend doing? is everything okay with them? are you yourself okay? i'm just exhausted. ok.

now, i know i don't express emotions or reactions very well, but i still feel them on the inside. i wouldn't judge my facial expression on how i feel. more like, i would trust what i verbally tell you i'm feeling.

i guess what i'm just saying is that my mind is overworked.

(i'm much better since the last post)